Happy Father's Day...

I don't know where the concept of Father's Day came from, but I'll take it...

As I reflect this morning, I realize that my kids both exercise me in ways and also bring me pleasures that the world wouldn't otherwise without them.  There are upsets and challenges, but also successes and accomplishments along the way.  Without the kids, there would be no mother and no calling on us as a couple to show up and to exemplify good behaviors and decision-making that can set a good example.  They can also learn from our mistakes and missteps as well, as we are human and are not perfect.  This, hopefully, gives them both room to be authentically themselves and allows them to show up with their own gifts and to serve the world in their own special ways.

No, I do not know who invented Father's Day, but I am glad that they did.  Happy Father's Day to the fathers out there and to the mothers and kids that allow us fathers to show up.

Local Travel: Exploring the Inner Landscape

Last Friday,  I attended the first public session of the Search Inside Yourself course at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco.  As I jotted my notes about the content of the course, I also found myself doodling in the margins.  What came up?

Early on, we wrote about the characteristics of leaders that distinguished them and the usual suspects came to mind: integrity, vision, transparency, authenticity.  But, also, did peaceful.  Interesting.  Somehow, I feel that I discern a sense of peace.  Why?  How did I pick that up?  Something to think on for a bit…

Later, we were discussing emotional awareness and regulation; the edge of my paper discerns our mood as the “climate that we live in” and emotion as the “current weather pattern.”  It helps me adjust my mood when my emotions get the best of me.

When we introduced ourselves, we also gave a word that described where we were at the moment.  What was my word?  Curious.  I was curious to explore the material and to see where it might take me on my professional journey.  As I described to a few of my friends that have joined the course with me, even though I have learned this material, taught it to others and even read Meng’s book, I (we) need to experience it in order to really know it.  That was what I was here for; the good news is that I was able to show up as a beginner.

The great New Yorker comic of a billboard with one of those “you are here” sendups that Meg showed us reminded me of the est seminar, “Be Here Now”, that I attended back in the 80s.  BHN helped us access and remember that being present is being alive…  Mindfulness and attention are the keys to staying present or bringing ourselves back when we inevitably drift off again.  We were encouraged to be kind to ourselves as we prepared to practice a bit during the class; it appears that we are distracted 47% of the time, so we have a long way to go still.

While we meditated, Meg described the posture: back like an arrow, legs in lotus position, etc. to be both alert and relaxed.  My body felt more like a coiled snake, a description that I envision whenever I feel a bit too vigilant or my threat response getting warmed up.  As I relaxed and relax yet again, I realize that there are “a lot of floors in that building” and that my breathing was an elevator taking me down to the basement.  Hmm, perhaps another 20 years of practice and I might get somewhere…  Along the way, I get to show up for life rather than watch the movie or imagine how it might be.

I look forward to further thinking on this and well as the next few weeks of the course and what lies beyond.

The 3rd Third...

When I turned 40 a decade or so ago, I rejoiced that I still had half of my life in front of me and that I had made pretty good use of the other half that had already taken place.  A few years back, I again used the same refrain in celebrating the 50 years that had passed and the "other half" of my life that lie ahead.  Last week, however, I turned 52 and I realized that I couldn't necessarily convince myself that I could envision myself at 104.  It was then that I remembered my friend, Ken Lichtenstein, speaking about what he called the "last third" or "final third".  Not finding those labels particularly enticing, I thought that reflecting on the “3^rd Third” would be more palatable.

As I consider how to design “the rest of my life” (including reduced usage of quotes in my writing), I look at three areas of contribution that I’d like to focus my efforts and time on.  Even though I see the first third of life as time to “till the soil” and the second third accentuates our “sowing” years, I believe that my later years should focus on giving as well as “reaping” from the investments that I have made over the years.

The first area that I’d like to allocate time toward is in my local community.  When we moved to California almost thirty years ago, I continued my investment of discretionary time toward non-profit efforts and easily found organizations dedicated to both educational and at-risk youth causes.  Starting in the early 90s, welcoming our girls to the world meant that our time would be altered to focus on their schools and sports, from pre-school through high school and club teams in soccer, basketball, field hockey and softball.  Now that the girls are both in college, my pro-bono hours are mostly in professional arenas, although I am still working with an educational foundation in the addition to my efforts with startup entrepreneurs.  I’ll have to do some design with Joy to figure out where we can make an investment as a couple to the betterment of the community that we call home.

In addition to nurturing our home village, I want to give back professionally.  I have been fortunate (and more than a bit lucky) to have three careers that have both nurtured and exercised me over the past 30 or so years.  Product design and commercial roles made up my operational years and I now consult to companies in the cultural and team dynamics.  While I have heavily invested in these domains over the years, the style and locus of my efforts seem to need some reconsideration going forward.

Lastly, I am looking at how I can contribute to the ecosystem that has so graciously supported me over the years.  I have contemplated and planned my efforts to do so over the years, working with entrepreneurial groups around the Bay Area and beyond, as well as organizational development associations.  Now, with the “3^rd Third” framework, I have a new lens to observe and consider my time going forward.

I look forward to conversations with many of my friends and colleagues as I move forward with this project; please let me know if I can be helpful in your design time regardless of what “third” you find yourself in.

“Carpe Diem!”