In The End, Nothing Matters; Until Then, It All Does
Forward:
You may ask about the title of the book, “Worst Kept Secrets,” as it comes from our collective wisdom. When I was young and into my twenties, I thought that I had many original inventions and concepts. First, I’d be annoyed and upset that someone stole my idea when I saw them in the media or the marketplace. Later, I was inspired when I saw that I had a few that were worth copying or taking to market. After five startups, the last of which had no competition when we started and a dozen when we completed, I realized that original ideas are rare and we are all better off when we share and feed off of each other’s energies. As you will see in the rest of the book, what matters is action, not ideas anyway, so I subscribe to the Marshall Goldsmith rule: “You can’t steal it, because I’m giving it away.”
As for the subtitle: at the end of our lives, we are all dead and buried. Nothing matters at that point because we no longer can do anything about that which survives us. One can take the perspective that since nothing matters when we are gone, what we do with and in our lives also does not matter. Most others take the perspective that since this life is all we can count on (notwithstanding karmic reincarnation or the religious afterlife), we should make the most of it and “be all that we can be” while our hearts keep ticking and brains keep inventing. I am an advocate of the latter concept and that is the reasoning for this book: live the ambition that we invent and enjoy the journey as we create the good life that we imagine. “Life is not a dress rehearsal” applies here as I want everyone I touch to see, feel and savor all that life has to offer them when they are paying attention.
Peter Block once said that he writes his books “to get old ideas out of his head.” While I agree with him and am glad that he does so (being much more that I would have been without some of his best), I have a much more practical reason for writing: I need a structure to help me remember, organize and share my thinking with others in practical and actionable ways. Producing a book keeps my knowledge base “ready-to-hand” and available to me and others that I work with.
The work that follows and the stories included are all personal (mine or related to me by others and used with permission) and not academic or theoretical situations. Much of it was in play into my late thirties, but it was the existential question of what to do with my life as I approached my 41st birthday in 2003 that crystallized my exploration and situation over the next few years. That investigation led to a wider and more applicable issue: How do people (especially men in primary breadwinner positions) in today’s marketplace remain viable not only at 40, but as they hit 50, 60 and beyond?
